Facebook (2)

Read a GREAT article in Real Simple last night (well, not great as in literary genius, but great as in "I totally get that!"). It was all about Facebook and the ambivalence so many of us feel towards it. According to the author (Susan Dominus) "A force for socializing like no other, Facebook is a great game of six degrees of separation; a virtual, ever changing map of one's interlocking worlds; or a visual, highly annotated Rolodex that's available to select people in your life. Only on FB is friend a technical term: Confirm that someone is a friend and the site may announce that relationship to everyone else you've already listed as a friend."

Later in the article, she goes one to say "It's not just the time demands of the site that can be taxing; it's also the complexities of online social mixing - which, in contrast to regular daily life, involves mysterious sets of protocol and frequent overtures from unlikely sources. At it's most unnerving, FB feels like a crowded, never-ending cocktail party, one where you might find a tormentor from junior hihg, a blind date from your 20's, and your boss's boss all comparing ntoes - possibly with each other - on the photos you posted today from your 40th-birthday party last night." (Btw.. did I mention that when I joined FB, it suggested a guy I went all the way through school (kindegarten to senior year) with? And we did NOT get along even though our mother's thought we should? No WAY I'm adding him!!)

"Those kinds of social juxtapositions can make you giddy. (Isn't that whats' great about having a wedding, the chance to see all those different worlds collide?) But the constancy of those collisions - uncontrolled by seating arrangements, unlimited by the size of a catering hall - can also be uncomforable, even baffling."

The author goes on to relate a story about a friend of hers (using a fictional name for privacy). " recently accepted a friend request from someone she hadn't seen since the 6th grade and found herself plunged into the social anxiety she had experienced at that age. Suddenly she had access to the online conversation of her classmates. How was it that everyone seemed to have stayed in such close touch? Why were they ignoring her comments? Why were they making fun of the fact that they had sung "The Rainbow Connection" at graduation, a memory Joanna had always considered sweet and lovely? 'My memories are being invaded by other people's memories' ". And, again, relating to this - my high school classmates seem to have stayed in close touch, but I don't even remember a lot of them! They keep talking like I should have these fantastic memories of our time together... maybe I have early-onset alzheimers? BUT... occassionally, there is a redeeming moment - like today when one of them posted a link that plays a song we sang in Concert Choir in 1984.. I didn't even know such a recording existed!

"The past is no longer distant and blurry, a source for vague wonder and speculation..... on FB, practically every chapter of one's life that has ended, for better or for worse, may be reiissued with its own epilogue. Beautifully loose ends can be tied up, without warning, into something finite and sure. It makes you wonder: Whatever happended to...whatever happened to?"

Granted, the author goes on to note that "For some people, it's that time-traveling component that makes the site worthwhie". We can go back & take part in those past areas of our lives that made us feel alive - vibrant discussions of politics, "arcane pop-culture trivia". And, of course, it allows us to stay in touch w/ friends & relatives on a more intimate scale - especially when the live long distances away or we have very busy lives - than if we tried to use mail or email alone.

The article was much longer and move involved that I've shown here, but I found it timely and pertinent (which is kind of funny, since I just joined FB but just got around to reading this article from the April 2009 issue - basically it's a year old!) So, anywho, thought I'd share that here, since one of the limitations to FB is the ability to ramble as long as you want! :) In my blog, I have no limitations!