Memento's

Mom went to her final reward on Wednesday, December 1st. The memorial was Saturday, when we all said good-bye to her. Losing a loved one is always difficult. Jeff’s sister, Julie, passed away last June also. So, we are now facing holidays without key family members.

It’s interesting to me how our thinking changes when we lose someone important. Little things that meant nothing, or almost nothing, now seem quite important. A recent Real Simple magazine had suggestions for what to keep for your offspring. It’s suggestions piqued my thought process. The author pointed out that it’s often the everyday items that become the most meaningful both to us and to those who love us. Items like a concert ticket stub from our first concert. Or perhaps our favorite jeans, or a crayon picture from kindergarten. The point was made that old wedding dresses seem to be everywhere, but wouldn’t you love to have the bell-bottom, flowered jeans your mother wore in the 60’s? Or the apron that your great-grandmother wore in the 1890’s? What about the hand-written letters that your parents exchanged prior to their marriage or while apart due to war or other separations?

It made me look around & take inventory of what things are meaningful. Obviously, we all agree that memories are what really count. The remembered times spent with those we love. But, in reality, don’t many material things trigger those memories? And so, we are attached to specific items, not for their intrinsic value, but for the memories they carry within, the keys they hold to unlock the times and adventures stored in our memories. And, recognizing this, it raises the question - what things should I keep for my children and descendants? We tend to think of “heirlooms”, those big, solid furniture pieces or valuable jewelry or trinkets as the most important treasures. I have bedroom furniture from my maternal grandmother that I prize, a pocket watch from grandfather, a rifle from my other grandpa and even my wedding ring is a tangible link to my treasured ancestors. But… if there were a fire and I had only seconds to grab what was important, what would it be? Have you just sat in your house & looked around & thought about what you REALLY wouldn’t want to lose? It’s an interesting exercise. In my case, it can be somewhat challenging. I kind of pride myself on having nothing in my house that doesn’t have some sentimental value. I have to love it to have it. I buy nothing just because it matches something else. There needs to be a story attached. So, there are a great many things I wouldn’t want to lose – the first (and only) pastel picture I ever painted (and it even turned out kind of good!). The antique library card-file, the dragon or gargoyle statues – they all invoke memories and feelings of connection to my past.

But… but… those are not the things I’d save in an emergency. The items that really touch me, are the (mostly) little things. The picture of my dad & I on the river bank when I was just a toddler. The shadow box we put together after his funeral that contains the obituary, picture, and other mementos of that day. His Bible. A crocheted doily from my mother. Dad’s baby book. My mother’s high school picture. The recipe box from my mother that has recipes written on the back of envelope’s sent to my great grandmother in the early part of the 19th century.

So, I’ve started making note of things my children may find most meaningful once I’m gone (or perhaps even before!). The sweater I have from my Dad, our marriage license, photos, certain cards exchanged with loved ones… who knows what may find it’s way into a “treasure” box? And in this season of bittersweet remembrances of Julie and Mom, I ask you – what do you most treasure and what will you save for YOUR children?